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Conflict resolution

In Lead more gently/ Purpose

Here’s a way to draw out gentleness in harsh people

The biker dude scowled at me as I sat next to him.  He seemed life-beaten and harsh.  To be honest, I felt pretty intimidated by him.  Yet, within ten minutes together, something triggered his gentle side.  This trigger is available to all of us.

In his biker-dude outfit;  leather jacket, tough-soled shoes and messy helmet-hair,  he watched me play with my one-year-old grandson.   I sat on the sofa keeping an eye on the baby as he practiced his newly found skill of walking – he would venture as far as his courage would take him then turn around and run back into my arms.  All the while the biker-dude watched out of the corner of his eye.  At one point he got up, fetched himself some coffee and went and stood a few feet away.  My grandson followed and stared up at him as only young children can.  Then, for no apparent reason, the little one cracked a huge smile.   Biker-dude caved.  “Darn cute kid,” he said, bent down and cooed, “Hello, buddy.”

baby & biker

There’s something about the tenderness of babies that we all understand and, no matter how tough we become, we intuitively respond with gentleness.  We touch them softly, we speak in kind tones and we are protective toward them, eager to look out for their good.  We see their immeasurable value and treat them carefully.

Why does this change?

When does this change?  Why does it change? Continue Reading →

In Lead more gently/ Live more simply/ Purpose

How to treat yourself in the midst of a conflict

In my last post I shared four things that will resolve any conflict.  Then, lo and behold, I found myself right in the middle of one.  After rolling my eyes and thinking that I could at least get some points for writing this stuff and be let off the hook just a little, I knuckled down to taking some of my own advice.  I discovered that I knew how to treat the other person but was not so sure of how to treat myself.

As a follower of Christ we know that we are to love our neighbor.  We know that we are to turn the other cheek and we are to walk the extra mile.  All this is right and Godly but while seeking the good of the other person, how should we be treating ourselves?  I found some answers in 1 Corinthians 4: 3-5 Continue Reading →